Back In Time

​Hey guys,


I hope everyone is happy and healthy.


I am doing OK. Getting business done and exploring myself. Part of that process is to consider where I was versus where I am now. In a sense, going back in time to watch myself.


Seeing as how we lost someone from early in my career my thoughts went to Ottawa for part of my formative years as a Correctional Officer. Back then I had no idea about what PTSD is. I was still into the ‘burry your feelings and don’t talk’ phase. I didn’t realize that that was the opposite attitude I should have had. I didn’t notice that I was growing angry. I didn’t know that buried anger festers and infects your psyche, your health, and your dearest relationships. 


If I knew then what I know now I would have reached out to EAP or a trusted person to explain and express my feelings and my fears. I was never one to discuss the particulars of what I have seen and done, and I am still not. This is your and your confidants choice. I would advise respecting people’s wishes in this regard. But, don’t listen to the voice keeping you quiet. It’s wrong.


If you’re feeling anger well up and you don’t know why, reach out to someone and express your feelings calmly and positively.


Be well,

Have fun,

Be safe,

Take care,


Sensei Mike 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Shena Board, DIY build and basic demonstration

The shena board is a length of board raised off the ground by wooden feet. It has been used since ancient times by Persian warriors to assist and give greater variety with push ups and continues to be used by people who practice Pahlavani. This practice uses Persian meels (heavy clubs), wooden shields, metallic archery bows and shena boards. There is also the practice of spinning in circles, where we get the term whirling dervishes from. The exercises performed are done to drumming and chanting which provides instructions to the practitioners and a calm/meditative environment. Shena means ‘swimming’ in Persian. Which describes the tone of the exercise, fluid, wave-like and circular motions. The board provides a stable platform which allows for greater leverage, better range of motion, variety of movement and is easier on the wrists. Materials: - saw - drill - 3 drill bits (1 smaller for pilot holes, 1 larger for countersinking and 1 to screw in the screws) - 4  4 1/2” woo...
Read more

Stoicism

Early on in my service in Corrections I thought I had adopted a Stoic 'Stiff Upper Lip Attitude' philosophy. I would take those stressors, pay them no mind and push them aside. However, to be precise, I thought I was pushing those stressors aside, what I was actually doing was tossing those pieces of trash into a mental closet. Eventually the trash had overrun the closet, filled my metaphorical house and threatened to bring down the structure. Two years ago, after I started my recovery journey, I discovered what real stoicism was. It is an ancient philosophy that was born in Greece. It teaches how to focus on what we have the power to control, our thoughts, feelings and desires. Thoughts; quite often my thoughts would overwhelm me and rouse anxiety and anger. What I learned from stoicism was to take a step back from my thoughts and analyze them. I would take the thought and weigh it against the known facts to see if the thought was appropriate to the situation. When I learned ...
Read more

Meditation

I remember being told by more than a few people "you should meditate, it will help". I would try it but found it ineffective. What I came to discover was that I had not learned how to meditate. I didn't understand what it meant to "focus on your breath". I had to learn what to do with the thoughts constantly bombarding my mind and distracting me from focusing on my breathing. When I think back to all those times that I sat and tried "focusing", I have to conclude that I did not understand what focus really was. At one of the scariest moments in my life a kind nurse whispered something in my ear that sparked my education in meditation. "Download Headspace, it's an app." Thankfully I took her advice. Headspace has become a major part of my meditative practice. It provided a step-by-step guide to meditation and provided a framework from which to experiment. Meditation is simply focusing on only one thing at a time. You exclude everything els...
Read more